I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
