I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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