Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just invented taco cereal.
So squirting runs in the family.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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