Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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