Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
