If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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