Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
