What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Drunk is a universal language darling
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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