It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
