I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
