had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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