I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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