Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
