i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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