She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
