Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
