Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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