She said her name was "party"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my shit smells like andre
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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