i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
