guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
