I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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