Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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