While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
