Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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