we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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