I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
