So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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