You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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