Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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