i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
