she was so not down for the gang bang
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
