waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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