Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
