how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I need a burrito and a hug.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize