should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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