i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
