normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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