you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Randomize
