So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
