Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
3 2 1 whiskey
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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