I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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