Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
