i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
