dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This baby is an asshole
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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