problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
