yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
