That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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