is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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