Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
