I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
