just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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