am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
