Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
